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Glenn, the Flying Robot

Posted by Ken Hannahs on August 2, 2012 in Drama, Foreign, Sci Fi
Should I Watch This? NO

Perhaps it was just my own ignorance, but I thought I would enjoy a lot of the movies I found on Netflix.  With the amount of quality projects that never get produced, it seemed impossible that bad movies would ever see the light of day.  Too many people with a passion for all disparate elements of movie magic to afford any amount of schlock.  Even within the first foray into the hidden depths of the Netflix archive, I’m finding out that this isn’t the case — not even a little bit.  Bad movies with bad scripts and bad direction somehow still manage to nab star talent.  The most recent example of Netflix showing me the error in my suppositions is the disjointed drama Glenn, the Flying Robot.

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Apocalypse Now

Posted by Ken Hannahs on August 2, 2012 in Action, Drama, War

Should I Watch This? YES

There are these sort of signature movies that stick in you, building up a sort of mythic retelling in your mind, slowly evolving and involve new scenes that may or may not have actually been in the movie at all.  For me, one of those movies has always been Apocalypse Now.  My dad bought Apocalypse Now Redux the day it came out in 2001, and insisted that I watch it with him.  At the time, I was but a babe — no more than fourteen — and couldn’t really wrap my head around what exactly was being portrayed.  I understood the basic tenants of the story and that there was a bunch of crazy people, getting crazier.  There was napalm in the morning, young Morpheus on a boat, and an insane guy played by a plump Marlon Brando named Kurtz.  I knew that it was a retelling of The Heart of Darkness, but all these things didn’t really have anything to latch on to.  I knew it was a good film, but there was no structure for it in my mind.  It just sort of amalgamated and evolved into a series of scenes and one-liners and griseled men, whispering about “this damn war.”  Recently I watched it again, and all those scenes came together to make for a hell of a movie. Continue Reading »

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Melancholia

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 26, 2012 in Drama, Sci Fi

Should I Watch This? NO

Melancholia is really two movies, mushed together with the same care  that a toddler might crank blue and yellow play-dohs together to form a sort of sickening green color.  Written and directed by the eternally drab Lars von Trier, Melancholia is a test of your ability to put up with self-importance for two hours.  The first half of the film follows around boring Justine as she mopes around her lavish wedding with her gown in various states of being on and off again.  One scene, she’ll be crying in a tub, the next she’ll be reverse cowgirling a groomsman in a greenside bunker.  The second half the movie is all about a planet-sized asteroid destroying the earth.  Wait, what? No, you read that right. Continue Reading »

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The Man From Earth

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 19, 2012 in Drama, Independent, Sci Fi

Should I Watch This? YES

What would it be like to live forever? Professor John Oldman might actually know. The Man from Earth is a movie about looking at the impossible, poking and prodding at it, and ultimately finding it feasible. If there was ever a movie that encapsulated the style of its screenwriter, this movie would be it. It seems particularly fitting that The Man from Earth wouldn’t actually be made until a decade after his death. Continue Reading »

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Meet Joe Black

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 9, 2012 in Drama, Romance
Should I Watch This? NO
Meet Joe Black is a fish out of water comedy drama about Death boning down on Claire Forlani. Well, there is more to it, but actually not a whole lot more.  This is all the more distressing since  the movie is three goddamn hours long.All three of the plot lines revolve around Anthony Hopkins and some aspect of his life.  We have him and Brad Pitt who is still really relying on his looks in 1998.  We have him and his daughters — the shrewish Allison and the apparently perfect Susan. And then we have him and his business with all the nefarious machinations involved therewithin.  Hopkins stands at the center of this movie like a tent pole, holding everyone else’s acting up to a passable level.  When he’s not in a scene, his presence is most felt. Continue Reading »
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Hellevator: The Bottled Fools

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 9, 2012 in Drama, Foreign, Independent

Should I Watch This? YES

“In a futuristic world, elevators shuttle riders not only from floor to floor but also from town to town.  en route, they’re roped into a dangerous game that pits one against the other, and only the strongest come out alive.”

When your Top 10 list at the top of your Netflix site consists of a movie called Hellevator with a small green homunculus of a man, shooting you a Devito-esque hackneyed “I can’t believe I’m here, either” look, it would, in other less free countries be considered nothing short of a crime not to immediately watch said movie, if not for overbearing interest, than for fear of meeting your untimely demise, or getting disappeared into the subterranean tunnels of your respective government’s secret police.  However, because I do not live under such dictatorial rule, I was free to vaguely stare at the man for what ended up being about a month before finally clicking the little creature, and seeing what he had in store for me. Continue Reading »

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Hobo with a Shotgun

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 9, 2012 in Action

Should I Watch This? NO

Hobo With a Shotgun is first and foremost an exploitation film. And by “first and foremost,” I mean it is only an exploitation film. There is actually nothing else to it. It is a disgusting romp through fields of intestine and gray matter; a veritable first person tour of a sadist’s wet dream. Let’s not beat around the bush with this — the movie has about as much theatrical meat as a fifth grader’s attempt to make a Romero film, only with more money, a Canadian suburb, and Rutger Hauer at his beck-and-call. There are ample scenes in this movie that I will not even repeat in any company (even you, Internet denizens), and I am left feeling that, for all the effort the filmmakers make to being edgy and shocking, it rings as a wholly boring and lazy attempt at cinema. Continue Reading »

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Mars

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 9, 2012 in Animated, Comedy, Independent

Should I Watch This? NO

In 2010, there was a movie released known simply as ‘Mars.’ It was something that caught my attention on Netflix largely because of the inclusion of a romantic comedy, sci-fi movie filmed in rotoscope that brought on vibes of ‘A Scanner Darkly,’ and ‘Waking Life.’ To me, this concoction was interesting enough to illicit an hour and a half of my life. The question becomes after spending eighty minutes of my life watching it, if I would suggest that you do the same. Let’s explore, shall we? Continue Reading »

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Tales from Earthsea

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 9, 2012 in Action, Animated, Drama, Foreign

Should I Watch This? YES

At its core, Wizard of the Earthsea is a product that could easily be described as something borne from opposites. Story goes that Ursula K Le Guin, the much-heralded and award-winning Canadian fantasy author who gifted us with her Earthsea universe, wished to work with Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki (famed director most known for his opuses Spirited Away and Princess Mononoki), however he was busy with another project, and so the job went to Miyazaki’s son, Goro, to make his directorial debut in one of the most beloved fantasy universes of the modern era. And what you have is… not quite an Earthsea, nor a Miyazaki production. Instead, we are left with something that is fine in its own right, but seems to miss the majesty of Spirited Away, and the wonder of Earthsea. Had this movie not been saddled with these monsters of storycraft, I believe that the movie was quite excellent. But, unfortunately, for a fan of Miyazaki-san and Ms. Le Guin I am left with a milquetoast taste in the back of my throat and an itch right in that damned unreachable spot right between my shoulder blades. Continue Reading »

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Death Becomes Her

Posted by Ken Hannahs on July 9, 2012 in Comedy

Should I Watch This? YES

Death Becomes Her is an interesting bit of cinema that had flown under my radar until a friend stopped on this one through our perusal of the instant queue. “You haven’t seen Death Becomes Her?” she asked, somewhat incredulously. I could only answer in the negative, but looking through the cast, I could see that this was a movie that I should see, if only for just how great the whole thing sounds. Continue Reading »

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